Detours and Road Blocks

Detour Before it Begins

Things will always go wrong if they can go wrong.  Isn’t that Murphy’s Law or something?  Every time things go wrong I have to believe it is to put me on an even better path or else I might go crazy.  First my oil sending unit (?) burst in Winter Haven, thankfully in front of a shop.  I got the car fixed for only $20 if I got an oil change at the same time, an oil change I had been putting off.  Only I missed yoga and did not get to the restaurant on time for a seat and got to bed so late I did not get to do the trail the next day and yoga got rained out Sunday also.  I however rested, spent time with S, and caught up.  It was not what I planned but it was a good time.  I would not have traded the extra time with S for everything going right, we had our famous deep philosophical talks.  I miss them.

Tropical Storm Debbie

Then there was Tropical Storm Debbie.  I was going to Savannah to walk around and take pictures and stopping in Jacksonville, FL first to see the massage therapist that changed my life by turning me onto yoga for healing my body.  So instead of just moving on from Jacksonville, I looked up some couch surfing (as I have yet to actually couch surf) and who should be on there but the same massage therapist.  So I asked if he knew anyone able to take a couch surfer and surf his spare bed I did.  I got to know him and his family more, including his completely adorable 8 month old son.

Keith also suggested a place I could see in Georgia would be the Hostel in the Forest.  I thought I would not be able to go because I needed to take pictures in Savannah, right?  Well Debbie decided to slow down and not go anywhere.  Stay one more night with my new friends or continue on?  I felt I really needed to cross the Florida border, as if the storm was testing me and my resolve to really start this trip I had been putting off for so long in my life.  So what is one tiny tropical storm to get in my way?  Right?

A mess, that is what it is.  A giant mess.  If there is one thing you are always able to use for an excuse is a tropical storm.  Honestly, it is okay to not drive through torrential rain storm with gusts of wind blowing people into your lane.

Hostel in the Forest

After an incredibly crazy drive through the storm and almost getting stuck in the driveway, as soon as I set foot into the actual hostel area, I realized I needed to stay another day.  My entire body seemed to let go of all the stress from the last few days.  It was amazing how liberating the place was.  I really needed to let go of the expectations from my trip and the expectations I place on myself.  In a yoga class at Asheville Yoga Center, the teacher said to let go of all the definitions of who you are and who you are supposed to be.  In that class you are supposed to be who ever you are in that moment.  That is what I am working on for this trip.  At the forest that was the closest I had been to that person yet.  It was just what I needed to start my trip.

While at the hostel I was going to do yoga when some people asked me if I could lead a class.  I said no, I am not a teacher.  Later more people asked so I did lead a small class.  I am not good enough or not a teacher or do not have something to offer are all things I have used in the past when people have asked me if I would like to teach or lead a class or just do yoga together.  But while I was there I was able to do it and it was amazing.  The second night I was there I also taught a class but this one was a candle light class in the glass room which is an isolated, octagonal glass room overlooking a pond.

St. Simons

The next day I spent part of the day at the Hostel and the massage therapist and Reiki master Donna was from St. Simons and wanted to show me around town so it was another detour.  We had the most amazing sea food lunch at Gnats Landing (I think that was the name) and spent the day touring the island and hitting the beach.

Savannah

That night I left to Savannah and stayed at a cheap motel, Inn at Mulberry Grove, close to I-95.  It was very nice and clean compared to many hotels I have stayed at and the furnishings were upscale and it included free breakfast.  I got it for 40 dollars bid on Priceline, while in their parking lot, with Name Your Own Price.  Only I could not sleep, so I did not get to Savannah until almost noon.  And it was hot, HOT, HOT!

So hot that I only stayed for four or five hours before I could not handle it any more. I started from there towards Black Mountain a day early and skipped a second night in Savannah or Charleston.

Black Mountain

Somehow my GPS took me to the scenic route through Route 9.  In the dark up and down a windy mountain road.  Another detour.  It was however gorgeous. I arrived later than I thought I would and ended up chilling out with my friends I had not seen for a while and my car STILL smelled like burning oil.  Turns out I have leaks.  Like four or five oil leaks.  Yes that many.  So now what?  Another detour.  I have been in the Asheville area for a week now.  But in that time I have played play-dough with an adorable three-year old, saw gorgeous waterfalls, did yoga, went to a dance collective dance wave, and in general had a great time.

What is Next?

I am going to have to take a much more direct route home and I need to figure that out.  But I have had a great time and saw some great things.  I am heading to a drum circle tonight.  Everything is just a reminder to let go.  Let go of where I am supposed to go when I am supposed to get there and who I am while traveling.  If I can let go, I can let so much more into my life.

Photo Update – Michigan Almost Summer Day 7 and My Trip “Home”

So here are the photos from the day I left Michigan.  One final walk with Jack and then butterflies in the raspberry/blackberry patch.  Then off to Florida on a long journey that involved a trip to Minneapolis St. Paul (MSP) airport from Grand Rapids (GRR) for a 2.5 hour lay over.  Though there was a lot to do at MSP including arcades and food courts and lots of shops, I am too cheap for that so I edited photos and worked on the blog. The one thing I dislike about the airport is that the end of the terminal I was leaving from (“G” I believe) did not have enough seating for all the people from 4 or 5 gates. I love leaving from GRR though.  Small, spacious, short lines, easy security.  The seating was really only adequate for one or two flights.  Plus the food options for healthy food was not very good and mostly involved tofu (I do not eat soy).  But, time flew by and then I was on the plane on my way “home.”

Home this week has been one night at Ms and then the remainder with my friends C and J and their cute baby I.  He is adorable and smiles and laughs at me whenever he sees me.  I think I am in love.  I love babies who like me.  C has a friend in Cartagena (they are both from Venezuela) who will help me around and with Spanish if I help her with English and bring her some fish oil tablets.  Apparently they are cheaper here.  So that will make a good start to the trip!

Other Photo Journal Days from my trip to Michigan to visit family:

Here are the final pictures from Day 7!  You can see all the files in Photobucket or peruse the selection below!

Jack on the trails!  I miss him so much but he loves going for walks in the woods.

My sister and I used to make moss houses for our Polly Pockets when we were children.

This is a really bad picture of the robin but they were flying around a lot trying to distract me from their baby which was flapping around on the ground trying to learn to fly.  I stayed until I thought they might attack :).

Mom’s cat Rudy.

Photo Update – Michigan Almost Summer Day 6

I am behind.  I know.  But, there have not been many picture opportunities because of rain.  My grandma is doing great after her surgery.  She had two organs and a cyst remove and she is in her 80s.  She is one strong woman.

I did go for a walk yesterday and today and took a few more pictures though. Here is Day 6 (of 7) pictures!  If you missed it, there is also Day 1, Day 2, and Day 3. There are not as many pictures because I walked with my dad and he is always imparting bits of information and wisdom as we walk.  Like what type of trees are there and their health status and which trees he needs to cut for firewood next year and which trees he needs to cut to make sure they do not fall on the trail or their shed/house. Dad had to patch the roof of the shed this weekend because a branch from a dead tree fell on it.  It makes me nervous when he goes up a ladder.

The most notable moment of this walk was watching Jack fall into the swamp.  He did not even know what was happening.  He was chasing a frog or something and suddenly splash!  He stuck his head out of the algae and plant covered green water confused and then pulled himself up to the shore.  Jack hates the water so I was surprised that it only took him a few moments to get over the shock before he shook it all of and started running after a squirrel.

Jack is really happy in Michigan with all his friends (mom has four, yes four, dogs), walking through the woods, and my parents which feed him anything he wants.  He absolutelyloves going for walks in the woods.  He gets so excited when you ask him if he wants to go for a walk.  I am glad to see that.

Here ya go!

 

Photo Update – Michigan Almost Summer Day 3

Here are day 3 photos!  Maybe I will get tired of going the same few paths from Day 1 and Day 2 so I will take pictures of something different.  Until then here are more pictures of the beaver pond and trails.  Also added some pictures of my moms iris and hibiscus.

Photo Update – Michigan Almost Summer Day 2

These pictures and the pictures from my first day in Michigan are from my grandparents and parents property.  Jack and I like to take long walks in the woods in the evening.  I walk along and he runs around and when I call him he comes running back and head of me.  He looks back at me like I need to hurry and catch up.  That means he just scares away most animals.  I did see something maybe mink or something and a couple of white-tailed deer and some herons and geese from afar.

Here are pictures from day 2.

Beach Weekend Revisiting College Town!

Here is an end to all the wishy washy fluffy bits on personal growth and back into the beautiful photos.  I needed to get away.  I was not writing, no yoga, no photography.  For whatever reason I was in a slump.  However, for Cinco de Mayo I went to the beach with my friend S and her friend C. I went to college in Melbourne and revisited a few places and just enjoyed resetting my clock on the beach.

Last Saturday I left for Melbourne, Florida at a not so early in the morning hour.  I was very nervous because the hotel I had booked was a mom and pop hotel that did not have a lot of information on it.  Plus it was more expensive than I was used to.  I usually can get a nice hotel on Priceline for cheap.  This hotel was not very expensive ($134 after taxes) but was not cheap as I am used to.  It also looked a little old.  But, after being told my five or six other hotels there was NO availability I was a little desperate.  I eventually asked one of the full up motels what was going on.  Apparently there was a country music festival with Alan Jackson.  The lady said Alan Jackson’s name like a teenager girl might say Justin Bieber’s name.

So Ocean Front Paradise Resort it was.  They are actually older one bedroom apartments.  It looked very odd from a street view because on each side were 5-6 story motels or condos.  It was made up of about 8 or 10 one story units total with a main house that the owners lived in.  The woman who owned it is a bit strict about not having any guests other than those registered on the property (cannot invite people to the beach who are not paying customers) and to not open your windows at all.  I actually appreciated the empty beach the most, not a lot of noise or litter and I understand they do not want the humid salty air ruining the apartments.

When you arrive (and check in time is flexible, I showed up at 2) and get checked in there are two side walks, one in front of the two rows of apartments.  We got the unit right next to the beach on the right.  I have no idea what number it is, but ask for it.  The windows overlooked the dunes and it was beautiful. And this might be the most amazing part, instead of having concrete built up to the boardwalk, there was actually a grassy lawn that overlooked the dunes and beach and lots of available chairs and loungers.  There was even a kayak to borrow (we didn’t).

The apartments are fully stocked with silverware and plates and kitchen ware.  The mini fridge did not seem to get things too cold, but that could have been a setting.  I did not pay too much attention since the first thing I did was go sit on the beach.  When I got to warm I got up and splashed around in the surf.  I have not been to the beach in years, it’s a pity, I used to live so close and the expense of gas to get there seems somewhat prohibitive, but I need to balance out costs and benefits.  There was a huge benefit of going. However, after trying to figure out why my sunscreen would not absorb I looked at the bottle and realized it was two years expired.  Oops.

So, I decided I would walk down to the surf shops about three-quarters of a mile away and get sunscreen.  It was a wonderful walk.  I tried to be conservative taking pictures because I only had one fully charged and one partially charged battery.  All the moving around finally caught up with me, I left the charger and 2 spare batteries at the apartment I house sat for the week before which I could not get back until the next week.  I did still get a lot of awesome pictures.

When I walked up to the Indialantic (get it, get it no really it is a town) surf shops I found some sunscreen and a really cute skirt and Coldstone coconut ice cream with almond joy in it.  Then I sat on the beach and sat on the beach some more.  When my friends called me to come get dinner I might have blown them off and sat some more. I was hoping to snap some of the moon rise, but it did not work out, hunger won.

We ate at a little restaurant in historic downtown Melbourne  called Island Pasta Company where I had the seafood coconut curry – yum).  The Mahi and shrimp were perfect and I love coconut curry.  In fact, I have been on a never-ending coconut kick lately.  I love sitting outside at this restaurant because it has a cute out-door corridor with nice lighting and ambiance and a sort of European cafe feel only with Island music.

After a nice night revisiting downtown Melbourne and seeing all the craziness in the clubs down there for Cinco de Mayo (and did not participate), we headed back to the hotel.  When S asked what I did all day other than sit on beach I gave a look that conveyed all I was feeling, “why would I need to do anything else?”  S and C pretty much collapsed onto the pull out couch while I stayed out in a beach chair for most of the night.  After brushing off the third roach (or maybe it was the same roach) from my hair I decided I should get some sleep in the softy comfy bed with springs in it.  You have no idea how much I miss a spring bed.  Sigh…

S and I got up to watch the sunrise and it was amazing.  Dolphins jumping and all.  We went to Blue Berry Muffin Restaurant which happened to be across the road, where we all ate too much and enjoyed some really good muffins.  I had the Chocolate Chip instead of Blueberry but they were both made of a corn muffin base that was so crispy on top but without so much sugar.  It was awesome.  I had corned beef hash which was just ok.  I make much, much better.

Then we all went and cleared out the apartment and laid on the beach while the lady cleaned the apartment for her next guest.  Checkout was a non negotiable 11 AM.  That was okay as by 12 we were already sunburned and dehydrated and C had to leave to go to work.  S and I stayed and walked around downtown Melbourne, I took her to Holmes Park and Promenade Park which are on Cranes Creek near where it meets the intercoastal water way.  S had not seen manatees before.  There were no manatees but there were lots of jumping fish and even another dolphin.

Then we went and windowed shopped and ate lunch at Meg O’Malley’s Irish Pub.  I love this place because it has the best corned beef sandwich I have ever had.  Even better than mine. They use real corned beef roast.  It is amazing.  After being sufficiently stuffed we walked back toward the car and stopped in a new agey sort of store.  S bought a new peacock stone and I bought a fuschite and a couple aquamarines to make a necklace out of.  I am not sure if I believe in crystal power, but I like my stones.

On our way back to the express way we got some frozen yogurt and I tried to stay awake for the drive back.  I was very happy for a bed and shower that night back into the house sitting gig.  I made sure I charged all my camera batteries and put them back in the case.

So here are the pictures (click on the link to see all of them):

Using what you have

(You will have to excuse the long wait between posts.  I have written this pose 4 times and it keeps getting eaten by WordPress.  After which I got mad at WordPress and stopped posting. I however have a few posts written.)

One man’s trash s another man’s treasure

I have been upcycling physical items for a while: repurposing other people’s old clothes into bags and malfunction electronics into something useful.  however, when i started a dedicated yoga practice and deciding to take tome off for travel that I realized the concept can translate to more than stuff in your life.  The concept can apply to any emotion or circumstance you encounter.

If you do not attach yourself to the emotion or circumstance you encounter, you can turn anything around to what you want.  You can turn your anger into a passion for change.  you can turn a horrible job into opportunity for w better job.

Turn your own trash into your own treasure

if yo turn the concept of one object having different meanings to different people to the concept that you can change your own perspective of anything, you really can do anything.  it’s not the same as don’t take no as an answer, its making that no work in a way that aids you.

Why the sudden epiphany?  I have been trying to figure out a way to add cohesion to my blog, my travel goals, and my professional goals.  I don’t like travel blogs that are just geared towards telling about travel tips or a certain type of travel who expect people to want to help fund there travel or slog through all of their affiliate ads.  I like a focused blog that is entertaining and easy to traverse without opening twenty windows of ads.  Nora at The Professional Hobo is one of my favorites.

How to do that with my background, experience and education and focus it on what I want to add to my life Is a completely different angle though.  I work in water and wastewater engineering with a little environmental engineering on the side.  But then it hit me that green buildings, water resources, ecotourism, etc. are all very chic and I am qualified to at least enter the field except I have no portfolio.  In the next thought I also realized that my company is always looking for people to write articles for local magazines and papers about projects we build and anything industry related.  So here i have written my first article and had the abstract accepted about green building (the one i work in).

So I am taking a job that has continued way past its prime and turning it into an opportunity for growth.  It was strange, the day I realized this a friend told me she was reading a book titled “When Everything Changes, Change Everything.”  I have only read the first few pages but it has a lot of the same concepts in it.  It’s beyond not seeing life as a challenge but seeing the solutions in what is presented to you, they are not good or bad but they just are.

So here I have added a few more tools to my traveling tool belt.  And in addition to traveling I might be posting about environmental and water issues where ever it is that I am.

Disney World!

When my parents were visiting we went to Magic Kingdom and Epcot.  My mom even posed on Cinderella’s carousel. Then last weekend my friend Helen, almost 7 years old, and I went to Animal Kingdom and Magic Kingdom.  I learned Magic Kingdom is opened until midnight.  It was a really long day.  There is a lot of construction at Magic Kingdom, sort of takes some of the magic away from it.  But, it should be done soon and then we will have a magic princess land in the back.

It was a great time both days, though seeing all the caged animals sort of makes me feel sad.  Helen had never been to Animal Kingdom so she was really excited.  There is a restaurant called Tuskers in the Africa area that I remember had good food that was somewhat healthy (couscous, tabouli, roasted meats, veggies, curry, salmon, etc).  When we got there though, it was just the end of breakfast so we only had half the lunch items out.  The plus side was that it was a character breakfast so we got to meet Donald and Daisy Duck, Micky, and Goofy.

At Epcot it was Flower and Garden Festival time which meant pretty orchids, flower pots, landscape designs, and the butterfly garden.

Pictures below!

Animal Kingdom

Chris Botti at Ruth Eckerd Hall Clearwater

A couple of months ago I was looking at trying to find things to do with my friends before I leave.  I used to go to several Chris Boitti concerts a year with a group of friends.  Chris Botti plays trumpet and I first saw him opening for Josh Groban in 2004.  There were two good seats in Row G left.  It was fate.

After worrying if Kathy and I were going to be able to make it on time, Kathy was able to move her schedule and have someone cover the end of her class.  We were off for the normally 1.5 hour drive before 4:30.  At 6:30, after a fun detour through Ybor City and a drive by Tropicana Field (where the Tampa Bay Rays play), we were still on the causeway over to Clearwater.  Traffic was crawling and we were starved, starved enough to grab Checkers down the road and scarf it down in the parking lot.

First off, I really loved Ruth Eckerd Hall.  I have been trying to go to a show there for years, it is just so hard to get to Clearwater since there are always tons of people going in the few ways there are to get in.  The place is a little old and outdated in looks, which is a common thing in Florida, especially for nice places near/on the beach. The seats were velvet covered and cushy and most importantly, the sound was AMAZING.  Definitely the best sound I have heard in Florida.  The seats were great.  Not the closest seats I have ever had, great for sound though and overall view.  Pictures were not as good as at the Hard Rock though.  The lighting was not as good either, which is my excuse :).

Best part was probably the fact there was no opening act.  That is right, all Chris, no sitting through another painful opening act.  Makes me happy that the entire time was to Chris.  Only it was not just Chris.  Chris has always had a top-notch band backing him up.  Only this time it was all mixed up.  His long time guitarist was out and the other members were a mash-up of new and old.

Robert Hurst was on bass.  He went to Blue Lake Fine Arts Camp like I did, makes me like him even more, though it is not necessary.  He is awesome and always gets a great groove moving.  Geoffrey Keezer was on keys.  I really loved he and Chris playing my Funny Valentine at the end, very smooth.  On drums is the always there Billy Kilson.  I only think he missed one show I have ever been at.  Billy rocks.  He is always chewing gum and is really a machine. I could not remember the name of the violinist and I believe Mark was replaced on guitar by Leonardo Amued, an amazing guitarist from Brazil.

The most amazing part of the band to me was Lisa Fischer by far (does she have an official page any where I can link to and get info from?).  She might have been the highlight of the whole show.  When she started the look of love she did this vocal playing at the front of the song that was just so amazing.  I cannot explain it.  This does not give it justice, but here is a You tube Video of a performance of her with Chris.  I do believe Billy and Geoffrey are there too.  She has sung with so many great people, Rolling Stones, Sting, Luther Vandross, etc. but she steals the show.  Really, look her up and see her in person.  It was amazing.

Kathy and I decided that this was the best sounding concert we have been to.  It was truly amazing.  Also, before we left her daughter was crying because she thought that was the last time she was going to be able to see me.  However, it was just the last time she was going to be able to see Jack, my dog.  So, I bought a ridiculously priced poster and after the show we had Chris sign it to Helen, don’t cry.  It was cute.

So, since I cannot remember the set list and the funny details of our adventure since I did not write this fast enough, I will let pictures tell the rest of the story…

The many expressions of Mr. Billy Kilson:

And, Kathy, Chris and I after the show!

If there is an easier way to get photos in a slide show or presented neatly let me know please!

More photos here.

Pay attention to the here in now or you might step into a big pile of dog….

Jack is gone

So, its a bittersweet day.  I am one HUGE step closer to leaving, but that step involved my wonderful, loving, best friend, caring, sweetheart, cuddly dog, Jack, to make his way to Michigan with my parents.  I have to admit, its hard to even type this.  I feel like such a jerk for abandoning my dog, even though I know it is better for him to not be here now.  Heck, it might have been better for him to be there even if I was not leaving. Since this kind of leads into the middle of the story, let me start from the beginning…

Where are you? In Savannah

So my mom was coming and then not coming and then she wasn’t coming but eventually when I told her that she could take Jack she decided she could brave her “nerves” and make the trip to Florida. It is a long drive and they were planning on driving straight through Friday morning to Saturday. Worked out perfectly since Friday night I was going to a Chris Botti concert (review next!) with my friend Kathy.  It also allowed Jack to go over and say good bye to Kathy and her family one last time.

So Friday morning at work I was mostly worried about whether we were going to get there on time if we left at 430 (barely) and if I could get in a nap before I left.  So I get a call at 720.  It is my mom, “So, where are you?.”  I replied cautiously, “Um…I am at work, where are you?”

“In Savannah.  See you soon.”

Soon, like in three hours.  Apparently they left Thursday night to miss those horrible storms that whipped through Indiana and Kentucky.  And thank God they did, they just could have, ya know, called me.  So I call my boss and tell him I have to leave early (at 930) and I already worked over time (which I had hoped to cash in) so my hours were okay.  I worked like crazy to get a job done by the time I left and then ran like a crazy person home to clean, clean, clean.  My house was a mess.  boxes everywhere, dirty floor, dirty dishes, etc.  I cleaned like crazy and a in the few hours I had it was spotless, well almost spotless, just as they pulled in.

They brought two of their four dogs with them to make sure they got along with Jack and because mom does not do well without them any more.  It was an instant hit for my dog.  He just loved their dogs.  Their dogs tolerated him but mostly ignored him.  Abbea would chase the ball and Jack would chase Abbea.  It was funny, Abbea hardly even noticed he was there biting her ankles.

So fast forward to me going to the concert, going to Disney with my parents, packing stuff up for the yard sale, selling furniture on Craigslist, mom getting an emergency tooth extraction, and getting my first pair of real glasses and sun glasses with corrective lenses (love the sunglasses, not the regular glasses) and it was Thursday suddenly.  A whole week flew by.  Friday they were going to leave to Michigan.  I had to give up my precious Jack the very next day.

Final walk

So, instead of  going out to dinner to use my gift card I got for crappy service at a Darden owned restaurant, mom and dad brought home food and cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory so Jack and I could spend the night with each other.  We went for our last walk around Cranes Roost together and then walked with Michelle and her dogs Hercules and H2.  And I admit, I balled.  I cried so hard people probably were wondering what was wrong with me.  As we were walking around Cranes Roost though, I realized I was so busy being upset and missing Jack and being preoccupied with moving that I was not actually spending the last moments I had WITH Jack.  Just being in the moment and walking my dog.  I realized this when I looked up at the sky.  It was a gorgeous sunset towards the west, bright pinks and oranges tinged with gold (much prettier with my new corrective sunglasses I must say).  To the North there were some intimidating black clouds that blew away very fast, leaving the smell of jasmine and orange blossoms in the air.  It was really the perfect Florida night.

If I was caught up in my emotion and attached to my own misery, I was not going to be able to spend this moment with Jack.  I would not have noticed the toddler getting chased by ducks, or the couple walking two massive dogs (not sure of the breed but HUGE) with a third little chihuahua leading the pack, or how in the east the sky was the most beautifully faded colors of blue and pink.  I would not have noticed the couple who wanted to say hi to Jack and who I had a great conversation with.  I also would not have noticed the pile of dog crap in the middle of the sidewalk, that some poor runner ran into.  I also would not have noticed the smile Jack looked up at me with his smiley face and wagging tale, questioning what adventure we were going on next.

My first goodbye

I know he is better off with them.  He was so much happier when they were here.  He was hardly ever alone (and hardly ever will be in Michigan) and when he was he had two friends to play with.  He loves mom and dad and the girls.  He did not chew on anything or pee on the floor.  He is much better off.  And at no point while I was walking around with Jack on our last walk did I think it was the wrong choice.  That did not make it any easier though.  This morning when mom and dad left at 5:30 (and they still have not called me with an update) I was a mess.  I forced Jack to cuddle with me on the couch one last time and took him to the car.  It was horrible, but necessary.

I also know he will be here when I get back, but in the mean time I have to come home and open a door where no happy puppy dog face greets me, shaking his ears and his collar tinkling. No one to cuddle with if I get scared at night.  No one to walk with at 2 in the morning when I cannot sleep.  No one to be there all the time so I never feel lonely.  No one to give me that unconditional love a dog gives.  I know it is all selfish, but I will miss him.  He was my baby.  No, he still IS my baby.  I just need to get over feeling as if I am abandoning him and feeling sorry for myself.

I realized though that I have been looking for something to come home to.  I did not think I had anything.  No boyfriend or kid.  I do not live near my family.  No house.  No job that makes me motivated to get up in the morning.  But, I had Jack all along.  I should have been a better mom to him.  Those, fairly frequent, times where I spent an hour later at work, were they really worth it?  Staying late and then going to yoga? Jack is definitely the number one thing I will miss.

My therapist pretty much told me today to keep on keeping on, in much more eloquent sounding words.  To use my skills I have developed to get this thing done.  Next weekend my lease is up.  So, I did what I do in such a situation, I went to yoga.  Happy Hour yoga at Altamonte Springs Yoga to be precise.  I even donated two bottles of wine (my parents brought four more down with them).  It was just what I needed. Then I chatted with and sold items to yoga friends, the yoga community is so nice to have at times like now.

So I am going to keep on keeping on.  Soon a post about the Chris Botti concert and Disney!  And I will probably take a trip to Epcot Flower and Garden Festival to take pictures.  I also need to find a place to stay after next week, which I am amazing not worried about.  And there are plenty more good byes to make.  But for now, I am going to go to bed.  There is a garage sale to tend to tomorrow; a day to say good bye to so much stuff!