Happy Fourth of July!

Happy Fourth of July from Black Mountain, North Carolina.  I hope all of my US friends had a wonderful holiday!

Reviews and posts soon I promise!  Yoga, dance collectives, drum circles, the Hostel in the Forest, St. Simons, Savannah, waterfalls, Dupont State Forest, so many flowers, and Fourth festivities in Black Mountain.

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Saying Good-Bye Part II

“This love is always right here with you, just breathe it in”

Today I moved on.  I moved on and I did not even realize I had.  I blame that on driving though a tropical storm.  I had been going through all the motions of telling people good-bye.  Last dinners, last yoga classes, last Bones marathon, last massage…  And I finally realized all of those butterflies that I did not think I was feeling, had built up in my body because I did not see them.  I have been scanning myself to see where my anxiety was related to my upcoming trip.  It is a huge adventure with a lot of risk.  I kept going over everything I knew that will make the trip amazing and safe as a preventative measure.  But today I realized, as I was approaching the Florida/ Georgia  border, that I was nervous about everything I was leaving behind.   Worrying that no one cared, that I would never be able to replace the people in my life, that I was imposing on people, and that I was ending of the sweetest part of life I have experienced ever.   When would I come back?  Would I come back?

I could have prolonged my departure because of the storm.   I had a nice family letting me stay with them in a safe place.  But, I felt that I had to move on and for me the border was some symbolic line I was crossing on my trip.  I had not felt those excited butterflies about my trip because I was saying good-bye, not starting out on my adventure.  I was afraid I would never start.  I knew I would not make it to Savannah with my camera today because of the rain, but I could at least get over the Florida border.

As it turns out though, the one good reason to delay a trip that is always okay is tropical weather.  It was a white knuckle, floating across the road, white wash spray kind of drive.  At one point I was passed on both sides by cars and the spray from those cars made it seem like my entire car was underwater.  When the rain let up for a small amount of time, I looked for a mile marker to see how far I had gone.  I was already 14 miles over the border and I had not even noticed.  I was not worrying about having to say good-bye or to force myself to let go of something, I was moving on.

My detour took me to the most amazing hostel that is in tree houses with community buildings, gardens, kitchen, composting bathrooms, outdoor showers, a glass room for yoga and massage, a lake, a pool, and so much lush green forest you are surrounded by frogs and crickets.   Yet, from the time I set foot in this amazing place, I could feel those people I had been saying good-bye to with me on the journey.  I had spent too much energy trying to find closure on a part of my life in places I did not want to close the doors.  I never realized that, not only do I not need to close those doors, I could never close them if I tried.  For the first time, I am not trying to end part of my life.  I am simply moving on to a different place in the world; moving on to a different place in myself.

(Written June 26, 2012 in my little hut in the forest)

Seminole Wekiva Trail – SR 434 to Lake Mary Blvd

After being on the computer for days for the same amount of time I was when I was working, I realized that I was wasting my time off.  I know I need to blog and social network and apply for unemployment, but I need to take the time off to accomplish the goals I want to accomplish and use the time to just explore the world.  So after sitting on a couch for almost two days, I got off my lazy butt and did something I have meant to do for a while.  I did not feel too bad, as it had been raining every day I had been back for a large portion of the days. I walked the Seminole Wekiva Trail to Lake Mary Blvd. from SR 434 or Starbucks to Panera as most people will recognize it. And in my true fashion I took photos along the path.

The Trail

The Seminole Wekiva Trail in in Seminole County, Florida and starts at the San Sebastian Trail head near SR 436 and ends at Markham Woods Road Trail head on Markham Woods Road.  Total distance is about 14 miles.  The portion I walked was almost 6 miles (or 12 there and back).  Along the trail there is the Seminole County Softball Complex, Sanlando Park, an Altamonte Springs Leisure Center, and several restaurants.

Trail heads include:

  • San Sebastian Trailhead
  • Seminole County Softball Complex
  • Jones Trailhead
  • Markham Trailhead

Goals

My goal was to walk there and back, carry a pack (just my computer, wallet, Kindle and camera), survive, and take pictures.  I was successful! I did not think the pack would affect me as much as it did, but it did.  I felt so sore the next day.  I decided in the future to carry my laptop but no cords for anything and carrying the laptop and Kindle is a bit redundant.  The light was so bright that day the pictures were not so good, but helpful.

This is where I get a bit upset the Eye-Fi card did not work better.  I could have just uploaded my pictures to a map using the GPS location of the pictures.  Too bad it crashes my camera all the time.

Off to a Late Start

The day started later than I had wished, I could not sleep the night before so went to bed very late and woke up very late.  I did not get to the trail until almost 11:00 a.m. And it was hot.  God was it hot.  I started off in the parking lot behind the Starbucks on 434 in Longwood.  There is plenty of shade there and its seems like most of the businesses are vacant.  It was Sunday anyway.  I see people park there a lot.

And I headed north towards Lake Mary Blvd.  There is a nice underpass under 434 so you do not even have to cross the street.

I was awfully upbeat and chipper at being out of the house.

The trail was bright and sunny.

There were pretty flowers out.

The light was sparkling as it filter through the lush green leaves.

Miles are marked for you every half mile (this one is just after the SR 434 underpass).

I am always amazed to see what is at the houses once you get going.  I did not take pictures of other people’s houses and property, but there are people with goats, chickens, huge houses, giant pools, people with huge self-made solar systems, etc. I did get a picture of a some art someone put on their fence.

I thought it was awesome.

Chasing Shade

Then, around noon, I realized it was really hot and I had not put sunscreen on.  My neck was kind of burning.  Around this time my tactics changed.  I walked fast through the sun and strolled through the shade. Luckily there are a lot of shaded areas with benches.

Then as you keep going the path get hilly.  Everyone I know from Michigan will laugh at this, since its not like most of the area gets to more than 25 feet above sea level so hills are not really hills. But, when its 90 something degrees they seem like mountains.

Right when I ran out of water and thought I was going to burn to a crisp, I reached Jones Trail Head.  There were two nice bikers talking and the lady gave me sunscreen, a water bottle, and a frozen water bottle.  It was so nice.  I keep hoping I see her again so I can repay her.  There is a working water fountain at Jones Trail Head also.

The clouds were still gorgeous but the shady areas were becoming far and few between.

Then suddenly the trail got much more Urban.  There were really nice looking condo and apartment complexes…right across from a ranch with cows and horses.

You Have Arrived

And then you are there.  You can tell you are at the right place because of people waiting in line for a spot on the bike rack.

There is a shopping center where there is a Panera, another cafe which had a line out the door when I was there, and a bunch of other shops.

View from Panera’s patio.

Long Way Home

So I stopped and ate and cooled down and drank tons of water.  And then I was off.

As I said, the clouds were gorgeous.  However, they were moving quickly and a nice cool breeze blew up.  Since it was much later in the afternoon, and this was the first day since I had been back it had not rained, I was worried.  So I started moving quickly and did not take many pictures on the way back.  It was fairly quiet since it was the hottest part of the day.

The last part seemed to take forever.  Finally I could see 434 ahead.

I was so happy to get to my car, though it was hot as a sauna inside.  It was also still sunny and clear.  It did not start raining until around 8 p.m. that night and it had some pretty impressive lightning, thunder, and a nice 30 minute downpour that is typical for Florida and floods everything low-lying within minutes.

Google Maps

My Google Map with helpful locations, trail heads, water fountain and bathroom locations, and pictures.  Updated as I get the time and walk the rest of the trail. The map can also be found on my “Maps” page under “Seminole Wekiva Trail.” If you click on the camera icon you can see pictures. I plan on doing the northern portion of the trail this Saturday from Panera to the Markham Trail Head. Ignore the parts in the directions which make you take a road. For some reason Google will not let me keep the path on the trail but it always runs next to a road in those instances. For instance, you do not need to cross Lake Mary Blvd. because there is another underpass.

Photo Update – Michigan Almost Summer Day 6

I am behind.  I know.  But, there have not been many picture opportunities because of rain.  My grandma is doing great after her surgery.  She had two organs and a cyst remove and she is in her 80s.  She is one strong woman.

I did go for a walk yesterday and today and took a few more pictures though. Here is Day 6 (of 7) pictures!  If you missed it, there is also Day 1, Day 2, and Day 3. There are not as many pictures because I walked with my dad and he is always imparting bits of information and wisdom as we walk.  Like what type of trees are there and their health status and which trees he needs to cut for firewood next year and which trees he needs to cut to make sure they do not fall on the trail or their shed/house. Dad had to patch the roof of the shed this weekend because a branch from a dead tree fell on it.  It makes me nervous when he goes up a ladder.

The most notable moment of this walk was watching Jack fall into the swamp.  He did not even know what was happening.  He was chasing a frog or something and suddenly splash!  He stuck his head out of the algae and plant covered green water confused and then pulled himself up to the shore.  Jack hates the water so I was surprised that it only took him a few moments to get over the shock before he shook it all of and started running after a squirrel.

Jack is really happy in Michigan with all his friends (mom has four, yes four, dogs), walking through the woods, and my parents which feed him anything he wants.  He absolutelyloves going for walks in the woods.  He gets so excited when you ask him if he wants to go for a walk.  I am glad to see that.

Here ya go!

 

Photo Update – Michigan Almost Summer Day 3

Here are day 3 photos!  Maybe I will get tired of going the same few paths from Day 1 and Day 2 so I will take pictures of something different.  Until then here are more pictures of the beaver pond and trails.  Also added some pictures of my moms iris and hibiscus.

Photo Update – Michigan Almost Summer Day 2

These pictures and the pictures from my first day in Michigan are from my grandparents and parents property.  Jack and I like to take long walks in the woods in the evening.  I walk along and he runs around and when I call him he comes running back and head of me.  He looks back at me like I need to hurry and catch up.  That means he just scares away most animals.  I did see something maybe mink or something and a couple of white-tailed deer and some herons and geese from afar.

Here are pictures from day 2.

Pay attention to the here in now or you might step into a big pile of dog….

Jack is gone

So, its a bittersweet day.  I am one HUGE step closer to leaving, but that step involved my wonderful, loving, best friend, caring, sweetheart, cuddly dog, Jack, to make his way to Michigan with my parents.  I have to admit, its hard to even type this.  I feel like such a jerk for abandoning my dog, even though I know it is better for him to not be here now.  Heck, it might have been better for him to be there even if I was not leaving. Since this kind of leads into the middle of the story, let me start from the beginning…

Where are you? In Savannah

So my mom was coming and then not coming and then she wasn’t coming but eventually when I told her that she could take Jack she decided she could brave her “nerves” and make the trip to Florida. It is a long drive and they were planning on driving straight through Friday morning to Saturday. Worked out perfectly since Friday night I was going to a Chris Botti concert (review next!) with my friend Kathy.  It also allowed Jack to go over and say good bye to Kathy and her family one last time.

So Friday morning at work I was mostly worried about whether we were going to get there on time if we left at 430 (barely) and if I could get in a nap before I left.  So I get a call at 720.  It is my mom, “So, where are you?.”  I replied cautiously, “Um…I am at work, where are you?”

“In Savannah.  See you soon.”

Soon, like in three hours.  Apparently they left Thursday night to miss those horrible storms that whipped through Indiana and Kentucky.  And thank God they did, they just could have, ya know, called me.  So I call my boss and tell him I have to leave early (at 930) and I already worked over time (which I had hoped to cash in) so my hours were okay.  I worked like crazy to get a job done by the time I left and then ran like a crazy person home to clean, clean, clean.  My house was a mess.  boxes everywhere, dirty floor, dirty dishes, etc.  I cleaned like crazy and a in the few hours I had it was spotless, well almost spotless, just as they pulled in.

They brought two of their four dogs with them to make sure they got along with Jack and because mom does not do well without them any more.  It was an instant hit for my dog.  He just loved their dogs.  Their dogs tolerated him but mostly ignored him.  Abbea would chase the ball and Jack would chase Abbea.  It was funny, Abbea hardly even noticed he was there biting her ankles.

So fast forward to me going to the concert, going to Disney with my parents, packing stuff up for the yard sale, selling furniture on Craigslist, mom getting an emergency tooth extraction, and getting my first pair of real glasses and sun glasses with corrective lenses (love the sunglasses, not the regular glasses) and it was Thursday suddenly.  A whole week flew by.  Friday they were going to leave to Michigan.  I had to give up my precious Jack the very next day.

Final walk

So, instead of  going out to dinner to use my gift card I got for crappy service at a Darden owned restaurant, mom and dad brought home food and cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory so Jack and I could spend the night with each other.  We went for our last walk around Cranes Roost together and then walked with Michelle and her dogs Hercules and H2.  And I admit, I balled.  I cried so hard people probably were wondering what was wrong with me.  As we were walking around Cranes Roost though, I realized I was so busy being upset and missing Jack and being preoccupied with moving that I was not actually spending the last moments I had WITH Jack.  Just being in the moment and walking my dog.  I realized this when I looked up at the sky.  It was a gorgeous sunset towards the west, bright pinks and oranges tinged with gold (much prettier with my new corrective sunglasses I must say).  To the North there were some intimidating black clouds that blew away very fast, leaving the smell of jasmine and orange blossoms in the air.  It was really the perfect Florida night.

If I was caught up in my emotion and attached to my own misery, I was not going to be able to spend this moment with Jack.  I would not have noticed the toddler getting chased by ducks, or the couple walking two massive dogs (not sure of the breed but HUGE) with a third little chihuahua leading the pack, or how in the east the sky was the most beautifully faded colors of blue and pink.  I would not have noticed the couple who wanted to say hi to Jack and who I had a great conversation with.  I also would not have noticed the pile of dog crap in the middle of the sidewalk, that some poor runner ran into.  I also would not have noticed the smile Jack looked up at me with his smiley face and wagging tale, questioning what adventure we were going on next.

My first goodbye

I know he is better off with them.  He was so much happier when they were here.  He was hardly ever alone (and hardly ever will be in Michigan) and when he was he had two friends to play with.  He loves mom and dad and the girls.  He did not chew on anything or pee on the floor.  He is much better off.  And at no point while I was walking around with Jack on our last walk did I think it was the wrong choice.  That did not make it any easier though.  This morning when mom and dad left at 5:30 (and they still have not called me with an update) I was a mess.  I forced Jack to cuddle with me on the couch one last time and took him to the car.  It was horrible, but necessary.

I also know he will be here when I get back, but in the mean time I have to come home and open a door where no happy puppy dog face greets me, shaking his ears and his collar tinkling. No one to cuddle with if I get scared at night.  No one to walk with at 2 in the morning when I cannot sleep.  No one to be there all the time so I never feel lonely.  No one to give me that unconditional love a dog gives.  I know it is all selfish, but I will miss him.  He was my baby.  No, he still IS my baby.  I just need to get over feeling as if I am abandoning him and feeling sorry for myself.

I realized though that I have been looking for something to come home to.  I did not think I had anything.  No boyfriend or kid.  I do not live near my family.  No house.  No job that makes me motivated to get up in the morning.  But, I had Jack all along.  I should have been a better mom to him.  Those, fairly frequent, times where I spent an hour later at work, were they really worth it?  Staying late and then going to yoga? Jack is definitely the number one thing I will miss.

My therapist pretty much told me today to keep on keeping on, in much more eloquent sounding words.  To use my skills I have developed to get this thing done.  Next weekend my lease is up.  So, I did what I do in such a situation, I went to yoga.  Happy Hour yoga at Altamonte Springs Yoga to be precise.  I even donated two bottles of wine (my parents brought four more down with them).  It was just what I needed. Then I chatted with and sold items to yoga friends, the yoga community is so nice to have at times like now.

So I am going to keep on keeping on.  Soon a post about the Chris Botti concert and Disney!  And I will probably take a trip to Epcot Flower and Garden Festival to take pictures.  I also need to find a place to stay after next week, which I am amazing not worried about.  And there are plenty more good byes to make.  But for now, I am going to go to bed.  There is a garage sale to tend to tomorrow; a day to say good bye to so much stuff!